can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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