I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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