did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
