I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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