The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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