I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
