Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
