i would punch a child for taco bell
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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