Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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