Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
