But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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