Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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