I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
