also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
