is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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