my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
