she woke up with a sticky ear
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
