Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
