Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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