..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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