Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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