seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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