we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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