White coat. Heels.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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