Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
