In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize