In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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