Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
