I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
