Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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