left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drake has all the answers
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
