it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
