dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
