and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
