me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
