That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
