I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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