I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
