i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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