My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
