i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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