Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
