My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
