Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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