Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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