aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
