addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
