I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
