Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
