This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can you bring me the toilet please
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
