And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
