I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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