All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize