There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This girl is more easily done than said...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
