someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
