tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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