I feel great
I just peed on a car
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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