OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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